Our Dark Passenger
by Debstennersson
Summary: My alternate ending to the Dexter season 7 finale 7x12, "Suprise Motherf**ker" (:
1. She Will Suffer

Debra's POV

We walked through the crowd of frantic people, awaiting to start their new year. New year, new goals, new future. I only feared what was around the corner for mine and Dexter's. As we walked, we felt invisible, like ghosts, death on our face. 'What had just happened? What had we become? What had I become?' I asked myself over and over. The aspect of killing someone always seemed awful to me, especially someone innocent. I never knew how someone could live with themselves. I never thought it would feel this horrible though. I never imagined it would make you feel so...empty. So...dead. So...undeserving. I've never wanted to murder myself until now. I feel like I took my life with LaGuerta's. I died, but came back reborn. An entirely new person. Someone I'm not proud of. I'm not Debra Morgan, foul-mouthed, underrated, Miami Metro Lieutenant, who's bad with relationships anymore. I don't know who I am. I lost everything when I took her life. My strength, my sanity, my world, my purpose, everything. I broke down. Everything crumbled, and it will never be the same. I'm not a good, decent person anymore...I may not even be on the right side of the law anymore. She suffered, and so did I. Living with it is more crucial than what you'll ever experience in your life. I just went through hell, but I feel like I'm still in it, and I can't leave it. The fire burning inside of me, the flames arising higher, taking away skin, flesh, muscle, till I'm down to nothing but dry, white bones. I'm lifeless.  
"You're a good cop, you're a good person, you're not like him." It played through my head. The last things she said to me. The last things she would ever say to me. I'm exactly like him now... I am him. I held onto Dexter's arm as he maneuvered us through the crowd. We were out of the frantic parade of people and walking toward the beach, feeling the cool ocean breeze. I stopped dead in my tracks once we were at the sea-side and dropped to my knees, burying my face into my hands, sobbing uncontrollably, gripping at the bottom of my dress where LaGuerta's blood was stained. Dexter bent down next to me, stroking my back, then bringing me into his arms. I adjusted, burying my face into the crook of his neck, throwing my arms around his torso, holding on for dear life. He held onto me tightly, stroking my head slowly.  
"Ooohh my god!" I cried into his neck, "Oohh my god, why!"  
"Deb, Deb, sssshhhh." he shushed me, trying to calm me down.  
"What the fuck have I done!?" I screamed bloody murder, sobbing into his neck. I began to grip onto his shirt tightly, as I felt myself slip away.  
"Deb, sssshhh, please." he whispered. I jumped up out of his arms, pissed off now. He got up onto his feet after me.  
"How the fuck am I supposed to be relaxed or calm about this shit, Dexter?! Huh," I yelled, sobbing, as I pushed at his chest, "how the FUCK AM I?!"  
"Deb, I," he stuttered, struggling with his words, "I'm sorry this all happened...you should've killed me. I don't deserve to live after what I've put you through. I understand why you hate me. I've turned you into someone entirely different. I've hurt you worse than anyone ever has. I don't deserve to live, you should've killed me. You need to kill me." I felt my blood begin to heat and boil all in that very moment. I punched him hard in the shoulder, but then pulled him into a tight embrace, squeezing the near life out of him.  
"Don't you fucking say that, Dex! DON'T! I don't need that shit right now! I don't hate you, Dex, you fucking idiot! When I get pissed, I say shit I don't mean twenty-four fucking seven! Shit like 'I hate you' when I sure as hell don't! I could NEVER truly hate you! Maybe in the moment, but never truly!" I sobbed into he shoulder. "I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill you. I, I wouldn't, I can't believe I did it to her, I don't know why I didn't just shoot myself, but you? You're all I've got, asshole."  
"I got you into all this, Deb. I should be dead, LaGuerta should still be here. You shouldn't have gone through all this damn mess I've created. You've done too much to protect me; you've put your own career and life on the line...and for what? Your useless, fuck up of a bro-" I became so furious, so boiled, pissed off, and I wanted him to take back everything he said, so I pressed my lips against his fierce-fully, making him take back the awful things he just said. He tried pulling away, but I had my arms wound around his neck, keeping him prisoner. I let his lips free, leaving us both breathless.  
"Deb, what the f-"  
"Dexter fucking Morgan," I paused, interrupting, still trying to catch my breathe, "I'm the fuck up of this family, not you. You are the only one I have, the only one I can count on, jackass. I couldn't do it to you, not after everything we've been through. You chose me over the love of your life. You put Hannah in prison to protect me. LaGuerta," I paused again, the tears rolling down my face, feeling my stomach drop, and my heart sink, "she would've hurt you. You wouldn't let her hurt me. You were going to go as far as...fucking murder to make sure she couldn't lay a finger on me. You chose me over Brian, your own flesh and blood. I couldn't let LaGuerta hurt you. I wouldn't ever be able to hurt you, kill you... I wouldn't be able to live with myself, I mean fuck, it's hard enough living now, knowing what I've done to her, but...I love you, Dex."  
He stared at me in disbelief.  
"But...why would you do anything like that?" he asked softly. I stared up into his eyes.  
"People do crazy things when they're in love." I replied with no denial. "Even if they'll regret it later."  
He still stared, now looking hurt. He brought his hand up to my cheek, wiping away tears. I felt excepted in that moment, excepted by him, until he pulled away.  
"Dex.."  
"How do you love me? No one can love me..." he said in agony, "a monster like me, a hideous creature. Any woman I've ever been with has always ended up hurt. I can't be loved, Debra. I can't do that to you...you deserve better." I looked at him in disbelief and punched him in his arm again.  
"Deb!"  
"You fucking asshole! Come here!" I yelled upset as I grabbed his wrist, placing his hand over my heart. He paused, looking up at me, afraid. "Do you feel that? That's my heart. Do you know what's keeping it beating? You, Dexter. I need you."  
"I don't have heart like you." he said as he pulled his hand away. I grabbed it again, pressing it to his own chest, mine over his.  
"Do you feel that? That's your heart, fucker! You have heart, Dex. You know how to love and care. You're not cold, evil, a monster... You're human." I said, more tears in my eyes. He stared at me sincerely. "I'd do anything to keep it beating, keep you from being hurt."  
"You're going to go as far as LaGuerta to protect me?" he asked me, confused by my affection.  
"I've done everything to protect you, Dex. And...well, now for what? I don't know what I was thinking really..you're still in love with Hannah. I tried to protect you from her, but apparently she's your everything. I don't know, maybe I was thinking if I did this..." I paused, thinking before I spoke, "if I did this, you'd see who really cares about you." I pulled away, unclasping our hands, walking away along the water.


	2. Fate Is Never Simple

Dexter's POV

At that moment, it snapped. Everything she had said to me, everything she had done for me, it wasn't just to protect me...it was to gain my affection. It was to get me to fall in love. Realize I could love. Out of all the other women in my life, they were never going to be the one. I've never realized that being in love is everything me and Deb have done for each other. The way I always feel around her. I thought Hannah was love, maybe she was just...pure lust. Becoming someone you're not to save a loved one, letting go of your love for someone that means the world to you. That was always me and Deb. Harry always taught me how to be normal, and being in love with your sister isn't normal, but if I could ever have feelings for anyone, I would have them for Deb. Everything we've done, everything we've been through, same road, different cars, it's the love we have for each other that's helped us make it through. I know what I want, and I know that Deb wants the same. I ran after her, once I saw her halfway down the beach now. I need her. I want her. I'm really in love with her.


	3. Life Is So Delicate

Debra's POV

I walked down the beach barefoot, but I stopped dead in my tracks once I heard my name in the breeze.  
"Deb!" Dexter yelled from a far. I turned around, seeing him running toward me. He stopped in front of me, embracing me in his arms. I wrapped my arms around him in response.  
"Deb.." he whispered into my ear.  
"Dex." I said into his neck. He pulled away staring into my eyes, arms keeping me close to him.  
"I'm in love," he said, "but it's not Hannah." I stared at him in shock. He caught me off guard when he began grabbing at my legs, picking me up in his arms. I cupped my hands around his face as he held me.  
"Are you..." I questioned him. He looked at me in fear, afraid of exposing his feelings and being denied, "are you in love with me?"  
"Would it be wrong if I am..." he whispered, scared, "because I love you, Deb. I'm in love with you." I felt the tears stream down my face and a smile curve across my lips.  
"No, no it's not. I love you, Dex." I replied, crying and laughing, as I stroked his cheek. He lips curved into a soft, sweet smile. He pulled me closer to him, burying his face into my neck, pressing soft kisses.  
"Oohh Dexx.." I moaned out his name. I tangled my hands into his hair, pulling his lips to mine, eager for his taste. We stayed like this, having no control over our actions. Our desire for each other taking over. His hands stroke along my thighs, gripping them, and pulling me closer, as I moaned against his lips.  
"Dex," I cried out to him, "oh my god, Dex, I want you."  
"Deb.." he immediately responded, rushing us into his car and off to his apartment. We rushed up the stairs to his apartment. Losing all self control, I pushed him up against the door, pressing my body to his, ravaging his lips with mine. He struggled to open the door, as he fiddled and messed with the lock. I snapped the keys from his hand and opened it myself.  
"I need you on that bed now." I moaned out as we walked back toward his room, slamming the door behind us. I've never felt this way about anybody, any man. I don't have any control over my feelings for him. He picked me back up in his arms, sliding the dress up my thighs, then settling on the bed. I pulled away, letting him pull the dress off my body, unclasping the strapless bra I wore, throwing it to the side. I pulled his shirt over his head. I never paid attention to his physique, obviously, but when I did, god, he's beautiful. His defined arms, ripped torso, god, it only made me want him more. I moved my hands to his belt, when I caught myself staring too long at him. He smiled, pressing his lips back to mine. I couldn't undo his belt because of my wrist, since the fucking cast was in the way. He pushed my hands away, laughing, as he undid them himself.  
"I'll help with that." he laughed. He wiggled the jeans and boxers off his legs and began pulling down my panties. I shimmied them down my legs, kicking them off at the bottom and, he widened my legs.  
"Well, you know, wrist and all." I whispered seductively, as I locked his lips in mine, biting his bottom lip as he settled between my legs. He took each leg, drawing it up his thigh, and wrapping them securely around his waist. My hands moved from his neck, to his chest, then his arms, as my nails dug into his shoulders, writhing underneath him. What was this side of me I'd never seen? The side that enjoyed fucking me brother? What was this side of Dexter? The side that had always in some way longed for me, but didn't want to feel out of place? I stopped messing with the questions in my head, just accepting he was finally mine. I moved from under him, straddling his waist. He leaned against the wall, while my hands roamed over his skin, kissing him hungrily. He returned the same affection, while his hands wondered off themselves, exploring my body, my curves. I paused my greedy hands to wrap around his neck, using that to pull me flush against his body. His hands stopped, holding my sides, then I began gently wiggling my hips back and forth, drawing out a moan, causing him to tear his head away from my lips and bury his face in the crook of my neck.  
"My god," he begged, "Deb... I love you." I forced him to look up at me and press his lips back to mine.  
"I love you, too." I whispered in between kisses. He pushed me back down onto the bed, having his way with me, as well as mine with him. He is my everything now, he's all I've got left. I can't shake the feelings I have, and I was dumb enough for trying. I'm in love with him, and the best part of it all...he actually loves me back. Really loves me back, like no one else ever did. I felt accepted...felt as though my 'Dark Passenger' had been treated to.


End file.
